Christmas spirit

I miss my mom.
Don't get me wrong. I love being "the mom". I love my kids with all my heart. But, tonight, as I laid in bed with Abbie, snuggling her, kissing her sweet little face, I thought about how much I, even at my age, would love to snuggle up with my mom. I would love to call her and make plans for tomorrow and Christmas day.

This year is going to be different for us. I'm dreading it in some ways, and in other ways, I'm very excited. We did Christmas with my dad and Jean on Sunday, and we will see Tony's parents on Saturday. I will see my sister tomorrow, and maybe late on Christmas day. But, Christmas morning, it will just be the four of us. Creme brulee french toast, Christmas music, mimosas for us and OJ for the kiddos. Presents, and just hunkering in for the day. It sounds wonderful, and I know it will be. I'm going non-traditional and making a huge pot of chili since we just finished up our T-giving leftovers and we had Christmas dinner on Sunday.
I know the kids are going to love everything Santa brings, and I can't wait to just hang out with them.

I just wish I didn't have to try so hard to get excited about Christmas. I know that morning it will come really easily, but right now, I'm having to work at it. :-( And I don't like feeling that way.....