Breast cancer is a blessing

Almost 8 years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.It was awful, to say the least. I knew when the phone rang that day that it was going to be the doctor. I knew what he was going to say. It didn't matter that for a month, he'd been telling me it was nothing, and to relax. Some things you just "know", you know? So, in light of breast cancer awareness month, and my friends and sisters that have been through it or are going through it now, I thought I would summarize a few thoughts on the topic.

1. Yes, it really is a blessing. Does it seem that way all the time? Hell no! But, in time, every single person I know that has been down this road has said the same thing. Here are just a few of the blessings I got from it.

• My dad found God, and was saved. I would do it all again for that result.
• I lost a friend that really wasn't a good friend to start with, but I thought she was. Friends that I was out of touch with really became my angels. You truly find out who are your true friends.
• I met so many wonderful people that I may have just had conversations with for an instant or a few moments, but they really changed my life.
• I got involved in the Young Survivor Coaliton http://youngsurvival.org/ at a time when I felt so alone and had no one to talk to. Talk about empowerment. Sitting amongst 500 women, all generally my age, really gave me hope about the future.

2. You learn very quickly that you can't be Superwoman like you strived to be before, but more importantly, you learn that you don't want to be anyway! Seriously, does it matter that your bed covers are perfectly straight all the time? Does it matter that your shoes are downstairs in the hall when you go to bed at night? (I say this because I used to not be able to sleep if I remembered that I left my shoes out. Weird, I know.) Does it matter if your kids eat boxed Chicken Nuggets and a can of corn from time to time instead of made from scratch meals? It doesn't. You don't have the time or energy to pull off Martha Stewart anymore, and after cancer, you realize that stuff really didn't matter.

3. I learned that I often overlooked small things that now I try really hard not to overlook.... a smile, a really pretty flower, the feel of the sun on my face. Sometimes it is perfectly ok to stop your life, lay down, and look at clouds in the sky.

4. Housework can wait. Friends, family, children, and having fun shouldn't.

5. Confession- I don't do self breast exams every month. I do them "now and then". However, I think everyone should know how to do them, and do them frequently.

6. You can't believe that all doctors are all knowing. Seriously. I've had many, many doctors over my years, and I can really only think of 2 that I would almost completely trust. You have to educate yourself about your hormones, your breasts, your choices. Don't believe for ONE SECOND that the dr is always right, or the insurance company is always right. If I believed my first dr, I'd be dead now. It's completely true. YOU know your body better than anyone, and God has given us an incredible gift called intuition. USE IT! Advocate for yourself. No one else will.

7. Educate yourself about MRIs of the breast, ultrasounds of the breast, mammogram and the different types. Ask questions.

8. Over 70% of women that get breast cancer have no family history. There is a false sense of security out there that if you don't have a history, you won't get it. Don't succumb to that.

9. In the same vein, don't live in fear either. Just live educated and aware.

10. If someone you know is going through breast cancer, don't worry about what you are going to say or do. Just ask "what can I do for you?" and don't let them say "Nothing". There is always something. They don't want to ask you. Offer to do laundry, get groceries, take their kids to do something really fun. If nothing else, stop by with some mindless magazines, a new movie, and some snacks. Keep doing it. They like it, even if they say they don't need it. Send a funny card. Offer to go to chemo with them. Get them some goodies to take the chemo nurses (our angels) Just don't look at them all sad and pitiful and look like you are going to cry. We do enough crying and being sad.

11. Recognize and celebrate with them their little milestones. One month in, 2 treatments to go, making it a week without being sick....whatever it is they have set as a goal.

12. And just on a personal note, when all the "pink" stuff comes out in October, it's really nice. I like a lot of it. But please, before you buy, look to see what (if any) of the proceeds are actually being donated. I won't buy it if it's not being donated. Some companies do 100%, some do 2%. I hate the idea of companies making a buck off of people who think they are buying something for a cause when it's not at all for the cause.

Whew...I'm long winded. But this is a topic I could go on and on and on about. I'll probably add more later. But, for now, I'm ignoring the 4 (yes, 4) overflowing baskets of laundry waiting to be folded in order to spend the rest of the day hanging out with my husband and watching football. I have my priorities straight. :-)