another long slooooooooooooow day

Well the days are still crawling by at a snails pace. What is up with that? Next week will fly in double time I'm sure.

Today I went to see Kim. Ouch. Why do we wax? I love it afterwards but man oh man I was hating it at the time. At least I won't have to think about it for a month or more.

Then, I went to the bank. Fun. All the money I don't have thanks to this wedding. Tony reassures me that "everything will be fine" when we get back and life gets back to normal. Our new "normal" is going to be going nowhere and doing nothing for quite awhile. I'm up for that REB award (which is unlikely that I'll win) and if I happen to win it, I'm going to Hawaii in January and I'd love to have the money for he and the kids to go too. Christmas will need to be waaaaay scaled back, but I think we can do it. If I don't win the big award, I'll still get $750 in cash which would be welcomed right about now!

Then, I went to talk to the wine guy at Kroger. I really like him and I talk to him enough that he knows my taste. He made a couple of suggestions and now it's up to Tony and Michael. They are going to take care of all that tomorrow night.

Then, Mason and I went to Target while Abbie is at a friends. Just kinda meandered around there. I love that place. Picked up odds and ends and managed to drop more money in there.
How does that happen?? All of a sudden, you go in for one thing and you end up with 10 things you needed and forgot you needed, right?

Going to the airport to pick up Cyndee later. Can't wait to see her. She's been in Orlando since last Wednesday.

Off to nap and maybe catch up on some TiVo.

Thanks, Jenny!

My friend Jenny showed me this blog. Please read it. Support this woman in her fight for her life. Trust me....stuff like this really does make a difference. What an amazing support system we can be for this woman.

http://thesnydernews.blogspot.com/

Wedding week!

Can I just tell you how much I love this man?? Good thing since I'm marrying him on Friday. We have had just the most amazing weekend. Friday was his birthday. We just went to Riverbound with Keene and Paul and the kids, and of course, Michael was there. Keene and Paul came back to the house with us and we sat out back and shared a bottle of wine, and talked about the wedding mostly. Saturday, Keene, Michael and I went shopping down in Williamsburg and Tony hung out with the kiddos and I got him a new bathing suit for the honeymoon. (He's so very into Tommy Bahama right now...lol) Today we stayed at home all day and just hung out and watched tv and hung out with the kids. Everything is done. Life is good. Just waiting. I cannot wait to see him Friday waiting at the other end of the aisle. I can't wait to hear Dorsey say that we are married. I can't wait to kiss my husband. I can't wait to celebrate and dance and laugh with our friends and family. I can't wait to spend a romantic week away at Sandals- a whole entire place dedicated to romance and just being together. I remember the last time I was there thinking that one day I was going to come back there with someone that I wanted to be over the top romantic with....now I get to do that. What more could a girl ask for??? I know....this kinda talk makes people wanna puke. But seriously.... I've waited so long, and while I've had so many blessings in my life, I've been through some pretty crappy stuff too. I'm so excited to start our new family together officially. I feel so very blessed. I really couldn't ask for anything else.

I do wish more than anything that my mom could be there. When she was literally lying on her deathbed, I remember she asked for Tony. My sisters and I were all gathered around her bed, and I got up and went to the waiting room to get him. She told him that she loved him, and he promised her he would take care of me. He got down on one knee, in her hospital room and proposed to me. That was 3 years ago, August 20. He kept his promise to her. I know that she will be there. It will take her being there to get me down the aisle without falling apart. Never in my life did I think I would be doing this without her, and it will be her spirit there that gets me through the day. I know she loves Tony, loves me, and blesses our union. She would be so happy.

I just want to savor the next few days, take it all in, write about it, think about it, and remember this feeling so i can recount it for years to come.

Could it be?

Could it be that we are really done with getting stuff ready for the wedding? I think we really are....minus a few last minute things we can't do now anyway.
I'm on the hunt for an ivory or white-ish formal purse. I think that may be my last thing. I need to get abbie and mason something to wear to the rehearsal dinner. I need to get on that asap b/c I know he is going to be hard to fit.
Getting hair cut and highlighted today.
Hitting the eye dr on Friday.
Working on my final exam that's due monday.
Straightening the house up so we don't leave it a disaster.
Making piles of what needs to go where for the rehearsal, reception, wedding.....

It's coming together nicely.

What a weekend!

I had soooo much fun at my bachelorette party! I am still so exhausted, but it was really really fun.

Thursday- What was supposed to be a 4 hour drive up turned into a 6-hour trip. Despite getting turned around looking for a bathroom and almost ending up in a game warden station that looked like it was out of Deliverance, we had a great time listening to music. We got settled about 8, and three of us went to South Street, had dinner, and went to a few bars. We got to see some very funny karaoke and my friends had a great time getting very ugly guys to come up to me. Thanks friends!

Friday- Three of us got up and worked out and ran. A real shock I know. We went for coffee, and then came back and got showered and went out to venture. We went shopping on Chestnut and Walnut and I bought a cute top and earrings for Friday night. We went to Tiffany and just looked at everything. We trekked in the heat to see the Liberty Bell, and then stopped at a bar on the way back for a few drinks. I got home to see that two friends had decorated our door with penis balloons, penis bubbles, and yellow caution tape. Hilarious!!! It was sooo funny. That afternoon we met up with some NY cops and went to a great bar with an ice luge and great music. We went back home and got all dolled up for our trip to "The Cave". It was..... interesting. LOL I won't elaborate except to say that I had a private dance and it was nothing I've ever experienced. I laughed so hard. The dancer was very, very hot in appearance and probably not very hot temperature-wise b/c of his lack of clothing. LOL

Saturday- Recovered from Friday, laid around, watched a movie.
Saturday night- The big night! After a rocky start, and dinner in a restaurant with no a/c, I was given a ride in a bmw covertible driven by a hottie to a club called McFaddens. We had an open bar there, and my oh-so-wonderful friends not only arranged for me to dance on a bartop, but also to get a body shot on the bar. Oh MY! Just what I wanted- my fat stomach exposed to the bar. Seriously- it was mild, and very fun. We got a comped bottle of champagne there and just had a blast. We left there and our 2nd limo of the night was there. (Our first was a complete disaster and the nasty driver ended up leaving us stranded at the restaurant.) This limo was fully stocked, and beautiful, and cold, and our driver was super nice. We went to a club called Cuba Libre and it was so fun to see the people dancing that actually knew how to dance salsa. My cutie pie ushers tried to teach me.... and ended up telling me to just dance how I wanted to. What can I say.... I'm not a salsa dancer. We had open bar there too- table service-- and somehow the 12 of us managed to go thru at least 4 bottles of Absolut.

We left there and went to the club next door- don't even know what it was called- but it was a hip hop club. We danced and danced until it was time to go home. Had a blast and was actually not that hung over the next day. I guess b/c of all the dancing.

I had such a blast dancing and partying. However, there was never a more welcome sight than my wonderful fiance waiting for me when I got home. I told him as much fun as i had, I couldn't wait to marry him. It was a great celebration and party for the end of being single, and a celebration of what's to come.

Random

Our bachelor/bachelorette parties are this weekend! I'm so excited. I can't wait to get away and relax a little. We have some really fun things planned...or I should say, Cyndee has some fun things planned. She's done an amazing job staying on top of all this. I love Philly, and I'm excited about being there with just girls. Tony's weekend is this weekend too- in Myrtle Beach. I know he's going to have fun.... 3 rounds of golf in 3 days. Sounds like my own personal hell.

So I have this one friend that apparently bailed this morning, over email, to the organizer. Nothing to me at all. And nothing to the organizer until she emailed HER about it. I guess she would have just not let anyone know. It really bugs me. Not that we were all that close anyway, but people have tried to convince me about her, and I've always given her the benefit of the doubt. Why do I do that? Anyway...now everything is going to cost everyone else more money b/c we had already committed a certain number of people. Sometimes I think I'm this great judge of character, and other times, not so much.

The kids were in the paper Sunday for their lemonade stand. It was so cute. The reporter emailed me yesterday and said they are going to send me the original copy. Michael said he wants to hang it at the restaurant. I was so proud of them!!

Another busy day today.... I am going to take Mason to camp, go by Starbucks, and Kohls, and hallmark. Go to the bank. I need to do laundry. Clean up a little. Work on my paper....(the big one, due in just over a week, that I haven't even started!) Tonight I get to babysit Mackinley. Super excited about that!!!

Eight years ago...

http://www.slide.com/r/ALhoiInJsD_TRQUmdTCG18TzN-Wmzm1V?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url&view=original

I made that awhile back for my girl. I can't believe that EIGHT years ago today I was at the hospital, holding my sweet, tiny baby girl. So happy she made me. She still does. I was in the car today, taking her to her birthday party at All Fired Up. Hannah Montana was blaring and she and her friend were singing along. It was the best sound I've heard in a long time. Tony and I just sat there, holding hands, both smiling and trying to listen without her really knowing. She has the prettiest voice, and just makes me warm and smiley just looking at her.



Happy Birthday sweet girl!!!

Am I going to look like an idiot?

A few weeks ago, I was looking for someone to marry us. The pastor had suddenly cancelled. I asked my principal to do it. He and I have always been close, he has helped me through some of the toughest times in my life, AND he's an ordained minister. I asked him, he said he'd be honored! Well, in communicating that to my oldest sister, she let me know right away that I had hurt her feelings. Why didn't I ask her? (She performs weddings, but did not go to seminary or anything, as does my ex husband.....) Anyway, I was completely honest and told her several things:
1. I feel more comfortable with a man marrying us. All of the religious figureheads in my life have always been men. I know and appreciate that women can do it too, but I just personally prefer a woman, right or wrong. (She let me know that was wrong, btw.)
2. I wanted someone that has my religious beliefs. Even though we don't go to church every Sunday, I pray to God every single day. I am deeply driven by my faith in God. I know to most, I don't have the bible-toting, bible-verse quoting appearance....because I don't. But my faith is what gets me through my life. My faith in God. I believe God plays a huge role in keeping marriage together, and it's important to me that someone that shares that exact belief marries us. He does, she doesn't. She told me that I don't even know her religious beliefs, and I told her she's right (which I should if it was a driving force in her life), but I did know that she had dabbled in Buddism. Again, she was mad at me.

It was at this point where she let me know that the reason she refused my offer for her to be in the wedding was that she thought it was "stupid" for "older women" to have weddings. She thought it was dumb for my mom to do it. She thinks it's dumb for me to do it. I told her I'm not "older"...that a lot of women get married for the first time at my age, and Tony has never been married, so I thought it was fine. She said "older women" look tacky up there wearing bridesmaids dresses. (including my other sister, and one of my best friends that are both over 50 and doing it!)

I guess now, 3 weeks before the wedding, I'm starting to panic. How many people are going to look at me and think I look ridiculous? How many people are going to judge me and say "she shouldn't be doing this again?". I just think it's not fair to Tony. He wanted all this. He wants to celebrate our journey with friends and family. And even if I have had it before, this is so different, and it's been 15 years..... don't I have the right to be happy and celebrate? Is there a limit to the number of "happy events" one can have in their life?

Thursday

So James left PA yesterday. I talked to Mason, and he is doing much better. He says he loves it there now, and wants to go back next year. I was so happy to hear his happy voice. I can't wait until he gets home. I'm still a little worried about how Tony is going to deal with this. He is still just so disappointed for a couple of reasons. One, he is upset with himself that he misjudged how Mason would be at camp. He really thought all of the "scouting" activities he has helped him with would have better prepared him mentally. Secondly, he is just so disappointed in Mason in general....he thinks he could have dealt with all this on his own instead of depending on dad. I'm torn. I do think he overreacted a bit, but the mom side of me says "he's 11". I don't know.

We went to see the SATC movie last night. I had seen it, but he hadn't, and I wanted him to. He liked it....thought it was realllllly long. It did feel long last night for some reason. He thought it was mostly Carrie's fault b/c she didn't have her phone and hear his messages and if they had talked ahead of time, she could have reassured him again. My thought is that he shouldn't have needed reassurance. She had done that the night before!! I found myself still crying at the same parts I cried at the first time.

Just looked at all of Shannon's wedding pictures. Question after looking at them.... why didn't my daughter smile? She is halfway smiling in one. None in the rest. That's her "thing" now...not to smile. GRRRRRRRRR

Drama

I.hate.girl.drama.

I hate all drama, but girl drama is the worst. Seriously. Before you freak out about something and make it such a huge deal, think. Think. Is this going to matter in 2 hours? 2 weeks? a year?

Girl drama is the absolute worst. I love being a woman. I love everything, well, almost everything, about it. But why do we as women seem to perpetuate drama. Guys don't do it. They just don't. I know all that stuff about women being more emotional, etc....but face it, we are also very rational and logical problem solvers. Most of us are. There is no reason why we can't head off some of this drama before it happens.

Anyway...just had to get that off my chest. I need coffee. Heading to Starbucks.

My Homesick Boy

So Mason left Saturday for boy scout camp. He was sooooo excited. We worked all last week getting his stuff together. Then, he and Tony worked for about 1 1/2 hours, rolling it all, packing it in plastic bags, and getting it all in his bag. He left Saturday morning at 6:15 am, a little nervous, but excited.

The first call came about 9 am, still excited.
The second call came about noon, a little less excited.
The third call came at 6:30 am Sunday. Tears.
The 4th-10th calls came throughout the day yesterday. Tears. Come get me. I hate this.

He hasn't even been there a full, normal day yet. They were just registering and getting settled yesterday, but he hates the latrine, the bugs, the sleeping conditions (not in a tent), and he's homesick. It absolutely broke my heart. Tony, on the other hand, thinks he needs to get himself together, suck it up, and stick it out. I wanted to get in the car right then and go get him. We've agreed he needs to stick it out today. Then, we'll see.

He's also using the cell phone I let him take as a crutch. I never thought he'd call that much though. I asked his friend's dad to take the phone and hold it for him and only let him use it once a day. I can't take it more than that. :-(

I feel awful for him. I'm hoping he'll stick it out today, get used to it, relax, and have the time of his life and not want to come home at the end of the week. Well, maybe not that part. I still want him to want to come home.

Oh...good news.... I found a Wii Fit finally!!! I signed up for Wii Alerts and they sent me a text telling me Toys R Us online had them. I logged in immediately and ordered it by 8 am this morning!! Woooohoooo!!

One thing done...a million more to do

One of my parents nominated me for an REB award. While I was very honored, it meant a lot of work. Add to this, it's due while we are on our honeymoon, so I have to turn it in before the wedding. Basically, I could ask to go anywhere, do anything.... as long as it pertains to my teaching and will impact kids. Sounds like it'd be pretty easy, but you wouldn't believe how I have agonized over this. I wanted to pick somewhere to go that I've been dying to go to....Abu Dhabi for example, or Europe....but the more I read, I couldn't really find anything "educationally speaking" that would help me in the classroom.

SO...after much research, I wrote it today. I picked the "9th annual international conference on education" being held in January in Honolulu, Hawaii. I also added in 10 days of intense training on Kagan strategies being held in Disney World. The grant would only pay for me to go, but I thought we could save up for Tony and the kids to go as well. I'd have my airfare and hotel for all of us paid for anyway.

The bad news is that I have to turn this in very soon....but won't find out until November if I won. That sucks. And to make matters worse, anyone that knows me knows that I'm really not a fan of certain kinds of surprises. Like this. I have to go to a dinner. Dorsey will be there, Dr. Roberson will be there, the woman that nominated me will be there. None of us will know if I won until they call my name, or not. That stresses me out big time. At least if I lose, I still get $750 for being a finalist. I'm happy with that.

Anyway, it's done. All I have to do now is turn it in....and wait.